Amazing Feel Good Movie about Gratitude

I have to share this movie with you.   It starts a bit slow, but is the best 11 minutes ever!  If you have 11 minutes and you want to feel better, take a look!

What do to with the kids this summer??? Is a TV diet too difficult?

Children Painting

Summer is here!  Hooray!  More quality time with your kids!!

We start out with such good summer intentions.  We’ll go to the park, to the pool, to a different park, to a different pool.  And then…exhaustion sets in.  It is so easy to just turn on the television and let it entertain the kids to create a moment of peace for momma.  Trust me, I know!

Then, a few weeks ago, I learned that watching a lot of television actually changes the way a child’s brain develops.

Arg!  I hate it when pesky scientific research challenges me to change parts of my parenting that makes my own life easier.  Darn it!

I’m not trying to be preachy.  I really do understand how difficult and soul draining it can be for parents to try and entertain their children for hours and hours.

What I learned recently is that the less time children spend watching a screen, the more they learn how to create entertainment for themselves.  So, if a child watches a lot of television, their brain develops to be entertained and it becomes difficult for the child to think of something to do besides watching more television.  The less television and screen time children watch, the more their brain develops ways to entertain themselves.

I mean it makes sense, but is it practical in this day and age?
Aren’t we creating socially isolated kids if we refuse to let them watch television?
Don’t they need computer skills to be up to speed in today’s world?

Good points, but besides the brain function problem, studies show that the more television kids watch, the more anxiety they have about themselves.  This does not mean that TV watching causes anxiety.  This is a correlation not causation relationship according to the studies.

Still, I have noticed that after a movie or TV day, my kids really do seem pretty exhausted and extra crabby…like their brains are not working very well.

So, my hubbie and I decided to try a TV diet of 10 hours per week.  This was a drastic reduction for my kids as I never worried too much about the amount.  I was happy as long as they were watching PBS or Noggin as I am a believer in commercial-free programming.  So we explained what we were going to do to our 8-year-old daughter.   She was, of course, totally bummed.  We decided not to say anything to our 3-year-old son and just see what happened.

It was so crazy – they were fine!  I have to tell you, since we started the screen time limits, both children are happier, better behaved, and playing creatively like I have never seen them do before.

I find it pretty interesting that their behavior does not bug me like it used to.  A lot of the whininess has ceased.  Life is much better!

Interested in trying it yourself?

There is a transition between letting the kids be entertained and creating an environment where they learn how to entertain themselves, so I thought I would share some ideas.

Here is a list of some ideas on how to make the TV diet as painless as possible for kiddos and parents alike:

1. Create a schedule and place it your fridge.  Write down outside time, craft time, play-dough time, snack time, computer time and free play.  Kids of this age thrive on schedules!  Feel free to bend as much as needed, of course.  You know your children best.  Yet, this can help create a structured understanding and predictability in their world.  Children build confidence when they know what to expect.
2. Start slowly with a television diet.  Figure out how many hours your children are watching a week and cut it down by 10% the first week.  See if they even notice.  Keep cutting it down 10% more every few weeks.  Weaning off slowly should be easier than cutting down drastically.  Help your kids pick out their favorite shows.  Write them down on the schedule to avoid any heartbreak.
3. Head outside when at all possible.  Go to the park when you can.  I have a friend who has Picnic Park Tuesdays all summer long.  She packs a picnic in the morning and every week her and her kids go looking for a new park.
4. Take a walk around the block and talk about what you see.  Use this together time activity to nurture whatever stage of development your kids are at.  For instance, saying “bird” is perfect for a 2-year old while “Blue-Jay” is better for a 4-year-old and “How many feet up do you think that branch is?” would work best for a 10-year-old.
5. If there is a certain time of day where the children are used to watching television while you do some work that needs to be done, consider making it craft time instead.  I am always shocked at how happy my children become when given plain paper and markers or scissors and old magazines.
6. Suggest that your kids play music when they are having quite room time play.
7. Give them chores.  Both of my kids LOVE to wash the windows, and I do let them since I only a non-toxic spray and rags.  They love it, and every once and a while the windows actually get clean.
8. Combine outdoor time, walking time and craft time.  Get a bucket, walk around outside, and collect nature items.  Come in, sit around the table, and make collages.  I have never had a child be unhappy when given a bottle of glue either.
9. Go to the library and ask a librarian to help you find a wonderful children’s book along with an audio recording so the kids and can read and listen at the same time.
10. Let you children help you prepare meals or set the table.
11. Let your children help you with the dishes.
12. Check out home-schooling resources on the web to see what parents do with their kids.  Many of these people do not use television, and there are a myriad of activity ideas out there.

Here are some other great links for good screen free activities:

Nature Crafts
Recycled Art Projects

A few good links for great, educational online kids activities:  (just be sure to limit their screen time)

Sheppard Software Kids Corner
National Geographic Geography Games
Thinkzone

Sit back, enjoy your kids, and watch them bloom!

Click here for a pdf of this post.

Let Go and Flow – House Sparrow Confessions

Today I am working on letting go.

I’ve been working at my kitchen table today so I can chase away the house sparrows as they try to kick my little wren out of its birdhouse…my birdhouse.  I am keeping diligent watch – looking up from my work – not getting much done – but holding on tightly to the wren’s right to live in our yard.

You see…house sparrows are bad birds.  They are invasive, aggressive and kill native birds.  Often building their nests on top of the corpses of the birds they have eliminated – not good energy for my yard.  I wish we didn’t have any house sparrows.

So, I have a dilemma.  Relax and let nature take its course or fight the house sparrows.  Which is the right path for one, such as myself, who tries to let life lead her – relax – and just go with the flow.   Hmmm…

I’ve pondered doing a meditation to the spirit of the house sparrow and asking it to leave – but something about that isn’t really my bag – a bit too out there.  I’ve thought about giving lots of love to the wren and empowering him to fight back.  I’ve thought about letting it just play out, and if the house sparrows succeed in kicking the wren out, just removing the birdhouse this year.

I think that is probably what I will end up doing – just letting go of trying to prevent the house sparrow from chasing away the wren.  Yet, making sure I do not provide a habitat for the invasive house sparrow beyond what is natural.  At this moment, that seems the flowiest of my options.

Why is it so hard then?  I am totally rooting for that little wren!   I want him to chase those nasty house sparrows away!  Why is it so hard to let go of my own wishes in this situation?

I’m pretty sure it is because I am human.  We are tenacious – we hold on – it is what we have done for a long time to survive.  However, we are not in survival situations very often anymore.

Let go and flow sounds so good – but it can be so difficult.

Sometimes I need to ask for help.  Sometimes I need to touch spirit in silent meditation in order to gain perspective on something that is really bugging me…or when I am fighting with all I have to hold on and control a situation.

Sometimes I can do it – sometimes I still struggle.  Yet, I find peace in silence.

Today I attached a sparrow spooker to my birdhouse.  The sparrows are gone – the wren is happily chirping and building its nest – I am happy.  Yet, I know I still have work to do.

Gardening for Mental Health in Recessionary Times

It is time to resurrect the Victory Garden! 

Victory gardens were vegetable, fruit and herb gardens planted in backyards during WWI and WWII to reduce the pressure on the public food supply brought on by the war effort.  Gardeners also were empowered by their contribution of labor for the war and rewarded by their own harvest.  These gardens were embraced and very much became a part of daily life at home.

How perfect is this for what we are going through right now with our economy?  It’s not that often when a solution presents itself that helps on so many levels.

It’s easy too:
1.    Plant a garden
2.    Care for your seeds and plants.
3.    Remember, just as you nurture these plants with time, effort, patience and love…so too can you nurture your own dreams.
4.    If you feel a compelling need to open your investment statements, (not recommended for ideal and happy living at this particular moment) – go out into the garden and pull some weeds thus reducing any stress that might arise from investment statement viewing.  Or shred them and put them in your compost bin – it will make them useful.  Or, if you are feeling more one with the earth, set an intention that as your garden grows, so do your investments!  (Hey – we’re only human – don’t feel too bad if you want to peek!)
5.    Harvest food from your garden, thus saving money, carbon dioxide and making an empowering contribution to the world.
6.    Practice mindful eating – remember to connect with the soil, the plant, the sun, the rain and your own effort when thanking the universe for this miracle tomato, basil leaf, strawberry etc.

A simple Victory Garden helps us live greener, connect with the earth and ourselves more deeply, nurture patience and feel empowered to help the world in our own way…while saving money as a super cool bonus!

Happy Gardening!

If you cannot garden for whatever reason – don’t be too hard on yourself – visit Local Harvest to find local farmers you can support!

Feng Shui Abundance Quick Tip

Feeling a bit crappy about finances are we?

Yeh – me too – but what is there to do really?

Well – we can focus on good things in our life besides money.  (Highly recommended  for optimum happiness)  We can work to live within in our means and pay down debt.  (Excellent plan as well)  And, we can employ the power of Feng Shui and enhance the Abundance energy of our home.   (Always worth a shot – right?)

Here is a super easy Abundance Feng Shui Quick Tip!

Plant an evergreen shrub outside the back left corner of your home.  This is a fantastic Abundance juicer as it enhances the Wood Element all year long.  Flowers are wonderful here as well – especially as summer approaches.  For optimum landscape Feng Shui – mix evergreens and flowers you love.

Pay attention to the needs of the plants – check the sunlight and soil needs first as you want to set them up for healthy living.  Also, try to find varieties native to your area if possible.

If you live an apartment of cannot find the perfect shrub for your situation – a vibrant, green houseplant of any variety will work just as well inside your home in this corner!  Additionally, many annual flowers designed for outside planting grow beautifully in containers.   If it feels good, be creative and grow plants in funky containers.  Your energy rises anytime you can create beauty, and even more when you do it in unexpected ways.

As you place your Abundance plants, say to yourself, “I enhance the Abundance of my home with this plant.  I will pay attention and care for this living plant as I do so with my finances as well.  I am open to receive abundance in all areas of my life.”

The thing about gratitude

Hot cup of coffee

I am in the middle of a self-imposed Facebook status gratitude challenge. For the past 10 days, I have been getting up in the morning and thinking about what I am grateful for – not to sound like a Zen monk or new-age weirdo – but because it is hard and I am trying to grow.

I decided to use Facebook for this process because it is such a nice blend of public and private. It is just a little scary to be weird and thinking about gratitude where my family, friends, neighbors, colleagues and old school buddies can see what I am doing. It would be safer and not as scary to just try to be honest and observationally funny. Here’s the deal though, when we stay in our comfort zone we don’t grow. I want to grow – so here I am. My soul is stripped just a little more bare, and I am talking about what is great in my life.

I have come to realize that complaining about life is just too easy. Don’t believe me?

Do this with me for a second, think about what sucks about your life right now. How many things pop out of you head? Now, think about what is great in life right now – in this moment. How many can you think of?

I hope you have more items in your great list, but if not – don’t despair – you are not alone. Turn on the news, look at your last investment statements, or feel bad about not having investments. Feel like crap now? Me too!! That was easy.

You know, I really sense that so much of our outlook on our own life experiences, as well as the general human consciousness, tend to be bounded in fear. Feelings like fear of the future, fear of being broke, fear of death, fear of failure just to name a few are shared by many of us. The truth is, fear is not something bad in itself (shout out to my man FDR), it’s a compelling force in our life and it makes us human. Fear and our body’s stress response to it can actually make us more productive and more inventive. Sadly though, these feelings also sell products. If I am scared of aging and being ugly, I better buy that good skin cream and make-up. If I am scared of being fat and unaccepted, I better buy those diet pills, shakes, and cellulite cream. Sigh. Making your customers afraid of x so they will buy y is such an effective marketing technique, it is no wonder there are so many fear messages we see every day. It is no wonder that “I’m afraid of…” becomes the way we think of life.

If it is so easy to feel bad, then how can we feel good? Well, for me it is really about gratitude and finding what is wonderful about my life – right now – in this moment. A hot cup of coffee, clean drinking water, a cold beer, a full tummy, a warm blanket, a child’s hug. When we can see it, there is a lot of wonder in this moment. This exercise tends to stretch the brain a bit – you can look on my Facebook profile and see when I was kind of pulling at straws to find something good. Yet, when you do it every day, for 30 days, all research indicates you will create a habit. You will actively change your brain functioning to look for the good in life more than you used to. Sound good? It’s on! I challenge you to do it too – because it feels so much better to look for the good instead of focusing on the crap. There are more spiritual benefits regarding gratitude as well – but this is enough for now.

Have a great weekend!

Take Back Cleaning – Feng Shui and the Power of Intention to Reduce Stress

Lovely Flower - simple and beautiful

“OMG – the house hurts me it’s so messy!”
“Why can’t I keep this house clean?”
“When will we be able to afford a housekeeper?”
“There are toys everywhere!”
“ARGHHHHHH!!!!”

Sound familiar? Does this happen in your head everyday – or perhaps out loud?

I know – me too.

You know, we women (probably men too in a way) have seriously unrealistic expectations of what we should accomplish in a given day or week. I was a full-time stay-at-home mom for two years or so, and I used to have this list of things I wanted to make sure I accomplished at least once a week. It looked something like this:

1. Laundry
2. Clean Bathrooms
3. Vacuum
4. Dust
5. Put away toys – daily
6. Cook dinner – daily
7. Wash sheets and towels
8. Sweep and mop kitchen
9. Clean bedrooms
10. Write in baby book
11. Pay Bills
12. Play with kids
13. Find new educational activities to do with kids
14. Make cookies
15. Hang out with neighbors
16. Wash Windows (yes I know – I was freak)
17. Groceries
18. Paint Toenails
19. Breathe

It was just a giant pain-inducing to-do list from hell. Some weeks I got all of it done and ended up feeling bad because I was so tired all weekend. We just have to stop the madness with this. The way our house is kept is simply not an indication of how happy and together we are as people!!

Have you ever seen those Electrolux commercials with Kelly Ripa? They usually go something like this – work your butt off – buy Electrolux and accomplish even more. Their slogan is “Be even more amazing.” ARGHHHH!!!! STOP THAT!!!

So – I’m writing a series of articles on how to take back cleaning! My goal is to teach you a few Feng Shui tricks that add intention and sparkles to the cleaning process. The clean, energized room is the gift you give yourself because you are worth it – not because cleaning it is on your list! Now – I realize we live in a culture that preaches accomplishment as the path to worthiness. Problem is, we all just end up stressed out, drinking and watching television late at night looking for a commercial for something / anything to make us happy. It is no way to live. I reject the accomplishment = worthiness = happiness formula!

There is a better way – and you can still have that wonderful clean house feeling.

We are going to start with the family room.

Before you begin, take a moment and think about what you want this room to be for you and your family. Some ideas are:

A warm, welcoming place where everyone feels happy and safe
A joyous room full of love
A zen retreat for the adults
A place of comfort for the whole family
A happy room

Any of these are terrific – or make up your own – the more personalized the better.

Take one minute (or more) to stand in the middle of the room with your eyes closed. Imagine this room clean and energized with the words and feelings you just picked. Say it out loud. Open your eyes. Begin to pick up clutter, wipe surfaces, and then sweep or vacuum. If you are feeling really spiritual – clean the windows too. As you clean them – say to yourself – I am clearing away crap so that universal love has a clear path into my home. (Or something better that sounds more like something you would say.)

Once you are finished and the room is clean, go back to the center of the room. Stretch your arms up and out to the side, throw your shoulders back and spin around a few times (not too fast) repeating your desires for this room. Imagine energy flowing out of your arms and into every corner of the room. See how it feels.

You may be finished. If so – Hooray!

If it doesn’t feel quite right though, ask yourself, if this room truly felt happy (or calm or full of love) – what would be different? You may want to write down any thoughts that come to you. Maybe a color for the walls – maybe a different picture on the fireplace – maybe it is just some fresh flowers. There is no wrong answer – it is your individual taste after all.

Sometimes for me, the answer is just moving a chair or a plant. Act on your inspiration – it’s fun!

Now you have a clean room that is full of love. How much better does it feel than a clean room full of stress? How much better do you feel?

Take that Electrolux!

Next week – The Kitchen

New Years Resolutions and Being Nice to Yourself

Mmm ice cream

When thinking about New Years Resolutions – it is pretty easy to fall into the “man I am a terrible person” trap. For instance, how many times do you know people who are going to:
1. Quit drinking
2. Quit smoking
3. Quit eating like crap
4. Start exercising
5. Lose 15 pounds
6. Be nicer to the kids
7. Start going to church – or go more

All of these are a form of what I would call “shoulding” yourself. This is not good for inner peace. What you are essentially saying to yourself when you adopt these resolutions are:

1. I should not drink so much. I am a terrible person for drinking so much.
2. I should not smoke cigarettes. I am a terrible person for smoking cigarettes.

What you could do, which would help get that inner dialog going a little better is to say:

1. This year, I choose to live healthier than I have in the past. Ways I can do this are:
a. Eating healthy foods.
b. Committing to myself that I am worth it by exercising 3-times a week.
c. Choosing to smoke less and drink less because I value my own health.

2. This year, I choose to make my family happiness a bigger priority than I have in the past. Ways I can do this are:
a. Spend at least 20 minutes a night listening to each child tell me about their day without judgment.
b. Take my little ones out to dinner every-other month and let them choose the restaurant.
c. Give awards around the dinner table for best good deed of the day.

You see? It doesn’t have to be very hard – just a little shift and the resolutions feel a lot better to say!!

Another idea is to make monthly resolutions instead of yearly ones. For instance:
1. This January, I commit to taking 10-minutes every other day to work on learning Spanish.
2. This January, I commit to doing Yoga at least 3-times per week.

For me, this monthly resolution makes theses changes less scary – I only have to commit for a month.

The thing is, that every time you break your word to yourself – you are telling yourself “I am not worth it.” You are worth it! Be nice to yourself this year – because if you won’t – who will?

Feng Shui for the Perfect Holiday Party

Cocktail time

It really is as easy as keep it simple and have fun. Where you put your stuff is less important than how you feel. If you have been stressing out the entire week before hand, practically killed yourself cleaning your space, spent more money that you have on nice wine and food – my gut tells me it is not going to be very much fun. Feng Shui looks to keep the energy flow going smoothly. If your energy is stressed out – it’s not going to flow no matter how “perfect” your space is.

If you feel relaxed and are happy – it will be a great party!!

Try this for your next holiday event:

1. Serve no more than 3 food items and 3 drinks. (People actually do not like too many choices anyway – so why bother?)
2. Hire a housekeeper, local teenager, or pay your own kids to clean the house for you.
3. Decorate with simple things – a few ornaments in a bowl – a sprig of holly on the table – a few pinecones on the table.
4. Take time to look spiffy so you feel great.
5. Play upbeat, fun music. (A Jackson 5 Christmas is a great choice!)
6. Light candles. (Everyone looks better in candlelight – and they have the magical ability to make a room look very inviting)
7. Laugh at yourself when you begin to feel stressed out – “oh look – there I go being human and feeling stress again.”
8. Enjoy!

Carving out Time for Ourselves

looks like a nice afternoon

Life is busy. We have a lot to worry about and to do.

the children watch too much television
the laundry needs to be done
don’t get me started on the state of the windows
we need to work on the family budget
when is the last time we went on a date anyway?
crap – there’s another recall on spinach and tomatoes!
I just need a minute to myself or I’m gonna explode

It’s a wonder we don’t all lose our mind trying to keep balls like these in the air. It can feel like the world will crumble if we aren’t constantly on our toes.

It also naturally feels selfish when we think about trying to do something for ourselves. Unfortunately, life will not magically get better, no matter how much we hope for this result, when we continue to do the same thing and act the same way.

I wonder, though, if there is a way to set these proverbial balls down without dropping them. I wonder what would happen if we all took 10 minutes to sit quietly and do nothing. I sense that the world would not crumble, and that everything might actually get better.

Imagine that all the things you have to do and to worry about are balls that you are juggling all day long. Now imagine that you stop juggling, you set them down in a comfy bowl, and you walk away. You know that they are safe, and you can pick them up again. Maybe, when you come back to get them, you could carry them with you instead of juggling them. Imagine that juggling these balls actually increases the possibility that one of them will break. Keeping them in a safe place actually protects them from injury. Isn’t that a nice metaphor?

The more you are able to walk away and make your own calmness a priority, the happier and more balanced you will be. And, as if by magic, your life begins to change. Relationships improve, many things that used to worry your suddenly seem less important, and life becomes more fun.

It is important to find your own place of quiet, to replenish your spirit, and to simply be. You will find that you are simply happier when you carve out time for yourself. It is certainly not a selfish pursuit.

Easy Feng Shui Enhancement for Inner Calm

Okay – it’s kind of obvious I guess, but I am sticking with the balls in the air metaphor because it feels really powerful. Walk around your house and find what feels like a comfy bowl. For me, this would probably be a basket of some kind. Now, find some really cool balls that you like. It doesn’t matter if they are those cool woven balls, ping-pong balls, or gumballs. Make yourself a little bowl and ball art and place it in your home in the room where you get the most stressed out. When you see this art, remember, that your worries, fears, and to-do action items are actually safer when you are not throwing them in the air! They are protected, nothing will happen, and you should take some time for yourself!