New Years Resolutions and Being Nice to Yourself

Mmm ice cream

When thinking about New Years Resolutions – it is pretty easy to fall into the “man I am a terrible person” trap. For instance, how many times do you know people who are going to:
1. Quit drinking
2. Quit smoking
3. Quit eating like crap
4. Start exercising
5. Lose 15 pounds
6. Be nicer to the kids
7. Start going to church – or go more

All of these are a form of what I would call “shoulding” yourself. This is not good for inner peace. What you are essentially saying to yourself when you adopt these resolutions are:

1. I should not drink so much. I am a terrible person for drinking so much.
2. I should not smoke cigarettes. I am a terrible person for smoking cigarettes.

What you could do, which would help get that inner dialog going a little better is to say:

1. This year, I choose to live healthier than I have in the past. Ways I can do this are:
a. Eating healthy foods.
b. Committing to myself that I am worth it by exercising 3-times a week.
c. Choosing to smoke less and drink less because I value my own health.

2. This year, I choose to make my family happiness a bigger priority than I have in the past. Ways I can do this are:
a. Spend at least 20 minutes a night listening to each child tell me about their day without judgment.
b. Take my little ones out to dinner every-other month and let them choose the restaurant.
c. Give awards around the dinner table for best good deed of the day.

You see? It doesn’t have to be very hard – just a little shift and the resolutions feel a lot better to say!!

Another idea is to make monthly resolutions instead of yearly ones. For instance:
1. This January, I commit to taking 10-minutes every other day to work on learning Spanish.
2. This January, I commit to doing Yoga at least 3-times per week.

For me, this monthly resolution makes theses changes less scary – I only have to commit for a month.

The thing is, that every time you break your word to yourself – you are telling yourself “I am not worth it.” You are worth it! Be nice to yourself this year – because if you won’t – who will?